When you lose control and you got no soul, it's tragedy

My new favorite thing to do is stick my clothes in the dryer for 10 minutes before putting them on. It's cold and gas heat costs approximately one billion dollars per minute to run, so I'm left to hobo it up with my in-house dryer. I once read a story in which a mother microwaved her kids' undies before they left for school and it touched my widdle heart. Wait, that was on an episode of The Simpsons.

I could go for some hot, chunky soup. The King Kullen is closed and I'm foodless. For dinner, I'm having tortilla chips and port wine cheese. Maybe I'll tack on a spoonful of dry egg noodles for good measure. Just like college.

In other news, stench to you, New York State Department of Labor, for lending your cold, breastless chest to my gaping wallet. Next week, I begin searching for a job that could possibly suck more than serving lobster to snotty children who will never know the soul-building joy of Kraft macaroni mixed with ground beef and frozen peas.

What tangled webs we weave during the fight for daily bliss.