It was the chair

Perhaps this confirms me as a disgrace, but Scary Movie 3 is really funny. I have a special place in my heart for genre spoofs. My sister and I spent many weekend nights sleeping over at my grandma's house and watching The Naked Gun movies, just the three of us smacking on bowls of sherbet.

Uuuggh, that makes my heart ache. I hope that Heaven turns out to be a wonderful reliving of moments like that, one after another. The time and place and smell -- you know, the essence -- would be the same. And I would have to be aware of it on a level higher than my 8-year-old self could recognize. Barring the fact that we can never seem to capture our presents as they're unfolding in the same potent, wistful way, Little Me probably doesn't have thoughts like this because she's just a child. Still, if Heaven is a solid idea and doesn't change with each individual's imagining, wouldn't my 8-year-old self be aware of what Heaven holds because I'm still relatively close to the primordial soup?

I can't imagine Grandma sitting here with me now, watching Scary Movie 3. I could never ask her to sit on a couch as scratchy and lumpy as mine. That would never do. She deserves a big-screen and an overstuffed L-shaped sofa with classy floral pillows. And the finest sherbet.