Cowgirl king at the rodeo

Dear Car,

Lately, you've been driving away from our relationship. Just three weeks ago, I dropped 500 bones to bust you out of the joint. I thought things were getting better until you left me on my knees this morning with only a faint click and a pair of weak headlights to start my day. Can't I still turn you on? That's the second time this month you've sucked someone else's juices to get started, you filthy slut.

Baby, wait. I didn't mean it. I'm just too upset that we're falling apart after all this time. I'll never forget the first moment I saw you, all shiny and new. You smelled intoxicating. Remember all the wonderful moments we've shared? Remember when you used to wait for me outside the James Union Building so we could share a nice pancake dinner with our rowdy friends? Remember all the trips we took and the music we rocked? Remember when we proved to that sign on I-24 just how renegade we could be?

I'd give anything to rev your engine while you vibrate my ass and warm my feet. Please come back.

Regards,
Amber